Mai Kosai Yomite
by Spotteh
Summary: ShinoXXOC. One shot. All her life, Mika was beaten by her clan for her strange talent- reading minds. Now, she has a home in Kohona and a team to help her heal. Still, they cannot teach her of love, a feeling she has never felt. Well, maybe...


**Mai Kosai Yomite  
**_**My Little Reader**_

I have one wish. It's a simple wish, an innocently childish wish. I know others who wish the same; I have read the minds of all my classmates- all save one.  
I didn't ask for the powers bestowed upon me. I didn't request the ability I both hate and love. I read people- I am a Reader. I see their deepest thoughts, their every wish and their essence- their being. I know many things, but I am ignorant to the joys of life. I see more than normal, but I am blind. I know truth, I know lies, I know my limits, I know yours; but I do not know why the wind whistles gently through the trees or why the stream runs harmlessly and swiftly. The only thing I am ever sure of is that I am not the same. I am gifted. I am cursed.  
I do not remember my family, the clan that destroyed me one person at a time. I remember I never felt the touch of a loved one. I never looked into the eyes of my family; all I can remember are the blurry feet and harshly sharp words. My eyes were always downcast. I never saw an eye unless I was looking into the reflection of perfectly polished silver. It was made that way. I know why now, eye contact speeds up the reading process. In my clan, a reader is born with disgusting silver hair and matching crystal-formed eyes. They made a point of telling me that. Everyday, I endured speech after speech; each word stripped me of any hope, any feeling at all except the strong surge of empty-pain.  
In my clan, the gift of 'reading' is a deformation. So, of course, I was forsaken amongst the streets of Konoha. The day of my first reading is still too clear, despite forgetting any hint of my old family. How could I forget? It was the day I became the silent, clan-less Mika.  
***~*~*~***  
The day was bright- still deadly grey in my eyes. The only kind thing they ever allowed was the trip to the estate's gardens I took once a month. The gardens shone hopefully to me. It was the prospect of anything that I could look at directly that excited me. It was spring; the flowers just began to bloom and the pollen floated in the air, mixed with the fragrance of the already open flowers.  
It was all okay until they came. They never came for good. I vaguely remember that it was the first time they had bothered me in my peaceful refuge. I had always envisioned the gardens were so beautiful that no one evil could enter- my last hope was crushed with the soft step of the booted feet. I instantly lowered my eyes to the ground, getting off the stone bench to bow with my face against the cool earth.  
Something racked through my body as they stopped in front of me. I think it was fear- but I had never really known what the word 'fear' meant. It was just something the clan liked to ask me if I had. I always did. I learned early that if I said no, they would knock me senseless as if to make up for the lack. One said something I couldn't remember. However, my nine-year-old self worried too much over the future than to bother with the present. My body wobbled as a sharp kicked bruised my side. I bit my lip, knowing that crying out made them more excited. They laughed. Another kick followed another and so on until I was lying, near unconscious, in the grass. That was when it happened.  
One suggested kicking harder. My body shook with silent sobs already, I couldn't take much more. My vision swam and black dots danced at the corner of my eyes. I had no idea I had done it, but soon I was one my feet. I glared at my feet and the guys grew furious- how dare I stand up? One rushed his arm to back-hand me. I grabbed his hand an inch away from my face. My eyes leveled to his. He flinched under my gaze, hardened by pain and loneliness. His buddy ran away, but it didn't matter. My mind was hearing a thousand muttered curses and fearful thoughts. As thought after thought ran through my mind, I gripped the man harder and my glare intensified. He fainted by the time the sun went down. His weight pulled me down when he crashed; I was skinny and weak from frequent starvations. I instantly jumped up and ran to my room. I was in for it.  
***~*~*~*~*~***  
I ended up getting exiled and beaten so hard I forgot almost everything from before- physical induced amnesia or something. In the year I spent wondering on the streets as an orphan, I had no control of my power. I still don't; things come when they want and go when they want. Sometimes I can summon up a thought by looking into the person's eyes. When I force it, I seem to get dizzy spells and faint.  
Of course, eventually some kind, yet crazy, soul saved me. I stayed with her for three days as she treated my various wounds and attempted to wash the blood off me. Her name was Anko, and despite her kindness and joyful cockiness, I felt alone with her. I still had a problem with talking to people and shifting my eyes to the floor. She seemed to notice and the Hokage had me transferred to a calmer, more assertive woman named Kurenai.  
To tell the truth, Kurenai scared me at first. The second day I was with her, she took me to see the Hokage and then for ramen. She told me she enrolled me in the Academy, a special school for training ninjas. The next day she walked me to class. That day was the worst in my life, or at least from the few days I could remember.  
She spoke with the sensei- a man called Iruka. He seemed nice enough and was firm in his ways. He introduced me.  
**~*~*~*~***  
My heartbeat and I whipped my sweat palms on the back of my black, half-length-pants.  
"Everyone, attention. Today, we have a new kid joining us. Her name is Mika. Please treat her kindly and say hi."  
The class chorused a monotone greeting and a boy in the back stood. My heart raced even faster.  
"What's her last name? She has to have one right?"  
A few other kids murmured in agreement and Iruka struggled to answer. I didn't see who it was, due to my dropped eyes, but I knew the name. I closed my eyes. My voice was shaky but with the silence, everyone heard it.  
"I... don't have one."  
Kiba slammed down his fist and demanded the truth. A kid or two backed him up, but most stayed silent.  
"Kiba Inuzuka, sit down and BEHAVE!"  
He barked, making me jump. A couple of kids giggled and I blushed furiously. I read Kiba. He liked dogs, smelt like them, and helped his family of a mother and sister in raising them. His puppy, Akamaru, dozed lightly under the desk. I knew he was suspicious because his enhanced nose smelt blood. Probably the blood I tried so hard to scrub off.

Iruka told me to pick a seat and launched into a detailed story of an attack on Suna in the great ninja wars. I walked until an empty seat appeared in my lowered site. I slipped into it and regretted it instantly; it was the same table as Kiba. I could tell because his dog growled lightly as he dreamt of chasing a cat. I dropped my eyes down to my lap and ignored him.  
I managed to avoid him and others the entire first part of class, but the lunch bell rang ominously. I gulped, standing. I saw two feet blocking my way. I stared silently at them, bracing myself for the questions already forming in his mind. Before he could start, Iruka butted in.  
"Nice to see you being good Kiba. Take her to lunch and show her around, would ya?"  
The teacher ignored Kiba's whines, so the boy grabbed my wrist to pull me away. I winced in pain and whimpered. Any other ear wouldn't have caught it, but Kiba's did. He glanced at me before releasing my hand and ushering me away...  
***~*~*~*~*~*~* **  
Kiba ditched me at the first food stand he came to, too angered by Iruka to interrogate me. A boy slurped down a bowl of ramen in record time as I ordered a bowl of miso. He finished his seventh as I finished my first and paid. His mind came rushing to me.  
He was lonely too. That was the first thing I read. He was scorned for no reason by adults and, because of their parents, children also shunned him. He just wanted to be recognized. I blushed at how similar we happened to be and slipped away, wondering how I would get back to class on time.  
The following two years I felt confident I had read every student, teacher and visitor; from the lazy Shikamaru to the over-demanding Ino and every mindless fangirl the 'heart-throb' Sasuke produced. But, I soon realized, I was wrong...  
***~*~*~*~*~* **  
I chewed on the riceball in my hand, grateful for the food. my appetite grew very large thanks to the great cooking of my host and best friend- Kurenai. I had learned much about her from my reading, but she told me all of it on her own in due time. I told her much about me as well but I left out my reading abilities. Also, my attitude changed over the two years, I was no longer the silent, clan-less freak, I was now the silently, firm, clan-less freak. I still didn't look people in the eye, save to force-read them, but I didn't keep my head bent every moment. Also, the blood staining me nearly disappeared and I healed mentally a bit. A big improvement, I guess.  
I had begun to make friends, based on the persona I knew, not talking to a person. I spoke often with Naruto, but he gave me headaches and Kiba still wasn't happy with his knowledge of me, so one day I decided I would move. But, by the time I got there, all the chairs were taken except for my previous one and the one beside a boy I had no idea even existed. I blushed as I slid into the seat beside him. I looked at the board and watched him from the corner of my eye. He had dark sunglasses on and cocked an eyebrow at me. I shifted and looked into the glasses, hoping to learn something about him, but I couldn't through the tinted glass. He turned away and I risked a glance at Kiba. He glared angrily at my seat-mate. I tilted my eyes so we were looking into each others.  
Hurt and pure anger thundered in my head- not mine, but his followed with an aftershock of confusion. I broke out of my trance, I nearly gasped; Kiba had a crush on me? I thought back to the first year of school. That was when he fiercely questioned me. Last year, he had backed down and would walk with me to school- well, if I wasn't late he would. I smiled softly at him and turned back around to face Iruka, who was passing out some papers. I glanced at the board; in big letters it read:  
ASSESSMENT- THE LIFE OF A JOUNIN  
Every groaned as they read it. I sighed, wondering if fate was trying to kill me today. Iruka stole away my thoughts as he slapped a piece of paper in front of us.  
"Nice to see you have a partner today, Shino-san."  
The boy shrugged without comment. Iruka stifled a sigh and continued.  
"Well, the name of a jounin is on the paper. Your job is to interview them and write a paper on the trails and expectations of a jounin."  
Shino handed the paper to me. I read the name on the paper.  
Yuhi Kurenai  
I smiled at Iruka, who pretended to ignore it, but when no one was looking, he winked at me. Of all the people in class, Iruka knew I was uncomfortable with strangers.  
"Get going everyone!"  
He commanded, walking to his desk and shifting the exams we took yesterday so they were in a neat pile. Some people raced from the class, others sauntered out. I slowly straightened, pushed my seat in and strode out of the classroom, a scroll of paper and a pen in my hand. Shino wasn't out yet, so I leaned against the wall, lazily waiting for him. He strode out and came over to me. That was when I first heard him speak.  
"You know Kurenai."  
He stated in a bored, yet firm voice. I instantly answered, I felt obliged to. It wasn't a voice you could argue with anyway- not with that I-couldn't-care-less tone.  
***~*~*~*~*~***  
So, I spilt my guts about Kurenai, hoping he would return me with some of his own feelings and such. No such luck. He just told me to lead the way and I asked questions. He took the interview and wrote it into an essay that got us an A+. I became more of a partner with him that Kiba...  
**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**  
"Mika?"  
The voice startled me out of my thoughts, dragged me from my memories.  
"hm?"  
"Well, I was wondering if..."  
I smiled up at him, freezing his question in his throat.  
"Kiba, it's time to go. See ya later."  
I patted his head, waved to Hinata and blushed at a wink form Kurenai. I would never hear the end of it... if she remembered after her mission. I hoped she wouldn't.  
Tainted glasses stopped me in my tracks. Shino stood in my way; I could feel his look from underneath his glasses. I bit back an annoyed reply. He silently handed me a small bag. That bag held my journal, my deepest thoughts, my secrets. My cheeks flushed with red. I think I heard him chuckle.  
"I didn't read it. You left it under that tree."  
I bowed.  
"Thank you Aburame-san."  
Yes, I had been partners with him the last year of our academy training. Yes, I had been put on his team. Yes, I told him I thought his bugs were cool. Yes, I had grown a warm... very warm... affection to him. But, we weren't necessarily 'friends'; he was far too secretive for such. So, I would call him Aburame-san until he told me otherwise, it was the same as all other people I met.  
He shrugged and walked beside me until we came to the place we always separated. I paused a moment, wishing something would happen, but nothing did. I turned away with a sad sigh. Of all the people I could like, I like the Aburame boy: the child of the silent bugs, the reserved powerful hosts of Konoha. The only guy in the world that I could not read, I loved.  
"Love? When did I start that?"  
I stopped, so surprised I mused out loud.  
"Love, you say?"  
I jumped a foot in the air, my mind racing as I reached for my kunai. No one could sneak up on me now. I no longer need to look into the eyes of one to read them- they just had to be near. It was like a mental alarm that warned me of , I was very freaked that someone could. I took a deep, shaky breath and narrowed my eyes, trying to catch a glimmer of the strange person.  
Maybe, it was a group. I knew that a group could easily hide from me; I wasn't able to read the minds of a group, or a member in the group without seeing their eyes.  
Out of the shadows stepped the one person I hadn't expected. I gaped at the very subject of my love- Shino Aburame. My heart leapt as he came closer.  
"Never-mind that. I was think of... um... a new idea for a story. Yeah."  
He nodded, dismissing the excuse.  
"I have to speak to you, Reader."  
My body froze, my eyes widened in shock. No one had called me that since... my old family... The world lurched threateningly and I braced myself for the hard ground. Instead, two arms caught me and held me close as I tried to get past my shock. The little memories I held of my clan and my beatings were flooding in my mind, one after another. I winced at each word, kick, punch, slap and strike, as if reliving them. At the final memory, I shuddered and slipped away.  
**XxXxXxXxXxXxXLaTeRXxXxXxXxXxX**  
I sat up, my head fuzzy and my body feeling stiff. I lay on my bed, clothes from the day before still on. I blinked in confusion and glanced out the window. It was dark out- I shuddered, wondering how long I had slept. I got out of the bed, changed and went down the hall to the kitchen.  
I went to the fridge and read the message over.  
'On a mission, Remember? Won't be home for a while- Kurenai.'  
I smiled slightly. I didn't like being alone and Kurenai's note was simple. I wasn't mad at her though, missions were needed and I read how much Kurenai considered me as her child. I grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and proceeded to the living room to sit around until something better shook me.  
My mouth dropped at the thing I saw. Shino, the one I crushed on, lay sleeping on the couch. The bottle slipped from my grasp and I thanked my luck that it wasn't opened.  
I occupied myself with grabbing the water bottle, so I didn't see what he did when he got up. I uncapped it and took a large swallow before looking at him.  
"Hey."

"Hello."  
The silence stretched, me awkwardly shuffling my feet and he... sitting there. I sure both of us was thinking back to the meeting on the path. I walked over and sat in a chair facing him. I drew a shaky breath and took a swing of water.  
"What happened?"  
Shino inquired, his face unreadable beneath his collar and glasses.  
"I fainted."  
Obviously. I am sure he rolled his eyes. I interrupted before he could continue.  
"How did you know?"  
"I read it."  
"Read what?"  
He hesitated.  
"The clan library."  
I cocked my head. He had records about... people like me?  
"It has passages from past heirs, past leaders. They all spoke about meeting a girl with shining silver hair and matching crystal eyes."  
I fiddled with a stray strand of hair. I had almost forgotten- everything about that place. I closed my eyes, remembering their harsh words.  
"Silver hair and eyes."  
I whispered. He slightly nodded.  
"You can read minds."  
I hesitated. No, scratch that- I paused. A very long pause.  
"Yes."  
I finally muttered with a shake of my head, eyes closed.  
"But you can't read mine."  
My eyes snapped open. He knew he was right; I could tell but I was too shocked to say anything. After a moment:  
"They hurt you."  
A flinch confirmed what he already knew. My grip on the water bottle tightened as I fought through memories years old. My eyes were stuck closed, as if held down so I could see every beating clearly.  
Before I blacked out, something pulled me out of the days long past. Shino had put his hand on my cheek.  
"I am the heir to the Aburame clan."  
Shino stated, his hand lingering on my cheek as he slowly removed his sunglasses. My eyes were held by his, bare without the glasses; my heart skipped a beat. His eyes were beautiful; graced with the multi-colored medly of a butterfly's wing- purples, blues, orange and yellow.  
"Just like the leaders before me..."  
His lips brushed mine, softly and innocently.  
"I love you. My little reader."

_I wished I could forget...  
I wished I could learn love. _  
**You** showed me.


End file.
